This post comes during the process of preparing my family’s wardrobe for a semi-formal Saturday evening wedding. It’s taking a lot of work! Not only do I need to gather all the items for all five of us (”hmm…I guess Plays with Fire can’t wear his hiking boot socks with his suit”), but I need to make sure the items that we rarely pull out of the closet are clean, pressed, and mended. My daily lifestyle doesn’t prepare me for this level of wardrobe scrutiny! But every once-in-a-while, special events pull us out of our dailiness and require more preparation. Any work and investment done ahead of time (Boy, am I glad we accepted that suit when my parents offered to buy it!) means a greater ease when the time for needing it all comes.
The tea party can be the same way. While I am a believer in the daily tea ritual and the ability to take advantage of impromptu hospitality opportunities, to prepare for the special occasion tea party takes time, work, and investment. Is it possible you need to be prepared?
“The accoutrements of the formal tea service include a teapot, hot-water kettle with an alcohol burner (to keep water hot), a sugar bowl with sugar cubes, sugar tongs, a creamer with whole milk, a tea caddy with loose-leaf tea, a caddy spoon to measure tea, a tea strainer to strain tea, a waste bowl to hold the dregs of tea, and a lemon plate with sliced lemon, a lemon fork, or a lemon pick.”
Here’s a few of Tea Party Girl’s own thoughts about the formal tea party:
Give the tea center-stage. Make sure it stays hot and is brewed correctly from quality looseleaf tea.
Pour the tea well. This means not filling the cups too full, separating the cups from their saucers, or having to reach across your guests to pour it.
If you’ve been invited to a formal tea as a guest, DO NOT fill your cup to the rim with milk and sugar. Ideally, someone else is preparing your tea for you as is proper at a formal tea party. And nibble, don’t gobble the food provided.
Lay out, borrow, or buy the best you can of silver, porcelain, and white linen.
If you can’t brew the tea neatly in front of your guests with the process described above, brew the tea in the kitchen. Do not expect your guests to brew their own tea, with bags or with leaves.
The book provides a thorough explanation of the serving process and tea table setting. The etiquette of tea pouring at a formal tea party places the proper importance of the beverage as the center of the event and worth reading.
Any other thoughts on the formal tea? My dear mother who went to college in the early 60s in the South was quite surprised to learn the local college sororities couldn’t care less about tea education. What occasions still call for a formal tea service? Do you think it will ever find mainstream status again? Please leave a comment and tell us what you think.
A special note for my email subscribers: If you click on the title of my post in your email or any item highlighted in blue, it will take you directly to my site where you can post a comment or participate in a poll. Please vote in Monday’s poll if you haven’t yet, as I know it’s not possible without directly visiting my site. We’d like to know your opinion, too!
Lastly, I expect to be off-line most of the rest of the week because of the out-of-town wedding this weekend. But look for a new post Monday!
Relieve your guests from the guess-work of where to sit.
Give your event a friendly but dressy and prepared-for feel.
Show your thoughtfulness as a hostess, choosing the best for your guests based on previous relationships, personalities, and the possibility of new friendships.
Your place cards can be simply made with your printer or own beautiful handwriting and some pretty paper, as illustrated in the picture above. Yet creative, theme-based place card holders can add a whimsical touch to your event. They can also double as the party favors. Here are some examples of my favorites:
For an Asian-themed tea, use these coin purses in contemporary colors as place card holders AND your party favor.
Did you know that you can host a tea party in your home with minimal work and cost through hosting a direct sales party with the company Set to a Tea? I recently had the chance to talk with Kathleen Rogers, the company’s founder. In this interview you will learn:
How Kathleen’s passion for afternoon tea led her to start a tea party-based business.
What Kathleen recommends for those wanting to replicate an afternoon tea experience in their home.
How simple it is to host a Set to a Tea party.
Why Set to a Tea could be your chance to earn some extra monthly income.
To listen just click on the arrow and adjust your computer’s volume.
Do any of you have experience with Set to a Tea or any other direct sales tea party business? How did it go? Please leave a comment and let us know.
You’ve been asked to host an event in your home. Maybe it’s a girl’s night out, direct sales party, or bridal shower. “We’ll take care of everything,” you’re told. “We just need a place.” And you think, “Great! I can do that. It should be a breeze.”
I have a question for you, Readers. Do you think this is realistic?
One of the reasons I have been unable to post to Tea Party Girl as often over the last few weeks is because I attended and helped host a number of events in real life. Each involved group efforts and I found myself asking this question off and on. Here’s my top three observations and it would be great to hear some of your perspectives in the comments below.
If you are hosting the event in your home people will use your bathroom, ask for your ice, and be afraid of your dog. In other words, there’s a certain level of prep, availability and clean-up that will be required of you. Unless you’ve hired a professional caterer, it is unrealistic to think that whomever is coming into your home to put on the event will remember everything and need nothing.
Because it is your home, you help set the tone. For various reasons, I assisted at two events in a row where at the beginning, everyone bunched together in a passageway and awkwardly stood around. It would have been a great help for the homeowner to direct people where to sit, turned on some music or even helped with quick glasses of ice water.
Someone has to be in the kitchen. Think of your warmest memories of events/gatherings that have taken place in homes. Whether it’s with friends or family, most likely someone spent a chunk of time in the kitchen. And they were relaxed about it. Maybe they poured you a glass of wine or cup of tea while you chatted with them from the breakfast bar. Usually the best home gatherings take place when the hostess is at ease sharing her role in the kitchen with others and conversations can happen while the food prep is taking place. If you are hosting an event in your home ask yourself how you can utilize your home’s center and heartbeat, the kitchen. If the kitchen is not a place you like to be, is it realistic to host events in your home?
Last Friday evening, my family and I experienced a home gathering that provided real refreshment for the guests. It was casual. People arrived at different times. Some were family, some were friends. The ages ranged from six-over sixty. Wine flowed, laughter erupted, and guests put their feet up. The kids swam and played basketball and hide-and-go-seek. Our hostess spent time in the kitchen making enchiladas and dishing up homemade ice cream. She seemed at ease with my husband constructing a huge salad for us all and her father’s wife making margaritas while her brother and I hung out in the kitchen discovering mutual friends and a fondness for classic literature. She even found time to sit and laugh with us on occasion.
But when all was said and done, she was the one who gathered up the abandoned drinks, discovered the muddy footprints in her guest bath from the numerous children, and swept under the table where we ate. I am guessing she and her husband didn’t calculate the financial cost, but willingly gave it. How I long to be a hostess like this to others.
So what do you think? What takes a home-based event from good to great? How much hinges on the hostess? Are you a realistic hostess?
Linda (no url), recently left me the following question:
I hope you will answer this message and help me!
My daughters are hosting a baby shower tea party for their sister in May. I want to know the best and most appropriate way to set a buffet table for 20 people. I have teacups for each guest and assorted teapots. There is a formal dining room table and a server in the room that can be set-up. This sounded like such a pretty way to honor my daughter and her baby girl….I am now regretting the decision as I want it to be etiquettly (sic) as correct as possible.
I hope you can help me or direct me!
Thank you.
It’s such a good question and I quickly wrote Linda encouraging her not to regret her decision! A tea buffet is a simple and beautiful way to host a less formal tea gathering.
In fact, in many tea rooms I’ve visited, guests are encouraged to choose their own teacup before taking a seat. And remember, afternoon tea is not called high tea because it is traditionally served at low tables (like a coffee or tea table) instead of a high table (like the dining room table). Many teas are served from a buffet table.
Here are Tea Party Girl’s top six suggestions for serving a buffet tea:
Keep your food pretty, but simple. Serve nothing drippy, extra-hot (except the tea–more on that later!), or that requires cutting with a knife. Stick to tea sandwiches, scones, and bite-size desserts.
Stack salad-size plates for your guests to use for their finger foods. Guests should only have to carry the plate, a napkin, and a teacup with saucer.
As I have suggested before, serve only two teas-an herbal/decaf and a black tea of choice that you brew ahead. DO NOT put out a number of teabags for your guests to choose from and expect them to brew their own tea and deal with drippy teabags.
Stacked teacups (as seen in the picture above) are an appropriate way to conserve space at the buffet table. Appoint someone ahead of time the honor of pouring the tea for the guests. After offering the guests the two choices of tea, fill the teacup 2/3 full. This allows the tea to stay hot and gives them room for milk and sugar. Hand the teacup to the guest. REMEMBER~when serving tea do not separate the cup from the saucer, but always handle the cup from the saucer only.
It’s ideal for your guests to be able to sit by a low table within arms reach. If they are holding a teacup and a plate of goodies, they will need a place to set down one or the other, though they can possibly set their tea treat plate on their laps while holding their cup and saucer.
If you leave teapots on the buffet table for your guests to help themselves to another cup of tea, you must plan a way to keep the tea warm. This can be done through a carafe, tea cozy, or warmer. Again, the ideal is to appoint someone to make the tea in the kitchen and roam among the guests providing fresh and hot pours.
“If using a buffet table, use boxes under the tablecloth or three-tiered trays for visual height. Determine how you can incorporate your theme into the buffet’s decorations and provide plenty of serving utensils so people don’t have to use their fingers to select their items. And remember, no scented candles to interfere with the fragrance of the food and tea!”
Does that answer your question, Linda? Does anyone else have a question or advice to add regarding serving the tea party buffet-style? Please add your comment below.
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