Comments on: Why Don’t People RSVP and Bring Hostess Gifts? http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts Teaching the Beautiful and Simple Afternoon Tea Fri, 05 Dec 2008 10:23:06 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: Stacie http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-3165 Stacie Fri, 21 Nov 2008 20:29:44 +0000 http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-3165 Honest to goodness, I thought RSVP meant "I plan to attend" I never RSVP if I do not plan on attending the event. Now gifts, I honestly would rather have people show up and enjoy the party than to worry about gifts, even at my kids birthday parties!!!! Honest to goodness, I thought RSVP meant “I plan to attend” I never RSVP if I do not plan on attending the event.

Now gifts, I honestly would rather have people show up and enjoy the party than to worry about gifts, even at my kids birthday parties!!!!

]]> By: Jay http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-3159 Jay Fri, 21 Nov 2008 01:37:12 +0000 http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-3159 Arrgghhhh.... I'm hosting an after work Holiday cocktail party for co-workers and only about 25% have rsvp'd. In these days of email, there is no excuse for at least acknowledging the invitation. I just can't figure it out. In addition to the ones that don't RSVP at all and don't show up, there's the group that don't RSVP but do show up and the ones that RSVP they're attending and then never show up.... For an annual Christmas dinner I host, one friend stands there every year and watches every single other guest bring a host gift. She even comments on what nice gifts they bring but NEVER brings one herself.... No thank you after the dinner either.... I've just decided that when you entertain, it's for the joy of doing it and letting the inconsiderateness of guests ruin it for you is not worth it. It does make planning a litte more difficult though. Arrgghhhh….
I’m hosting an after work Holiday cocktail party for co-workers and only about 25% have rsvp’d.
In these days of email, there is no excuse for at least acknowledging the invitation. I just can’t figure it out. In addition to the ones that don’t RSVP at all and don’t show up, there’s the group that don’t RSVP but do show up and the ones that RSVP they’re attending and then never show up….

For an annual Christmas dinner I host, one friend stands there every year and watches every single other guest bring a host gift. She even comments on what nice gifts they bring but NEVER brings one herself…. No thank you after the dinner either….

I’ve just decided that when you entertain, it’s for the joy of doing it and letting the inconsiderateness of guests ruin it for you is not worth it. It does make planning a litte more difficult though.

]]> By: Linda http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-3005 Linda Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:15:41 +0000 http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-3005 We are in the midst of planning a tea party for the ladies of our church, and the RSVP's are driving us crazy! We, too, have encountered two ladies who informed us that they may be bringing a guest, (not asked, mind you, told us) and many more have said, "I'll try to make it, but I may not be there because...". That one really gets under my skin, because these ladies think that they have responded to the RSVP, but they haven't told us a thing. I would nver dream of doing such a thing to a hostess! If I had the slightest doubt that I could make the party, I would decline the invitation. Part of the problem, I guess is that they expect the church to accomodate them, and usually this is not a problem, but for a tea party a good idea of how many are attending is essential. Oh, well, it will all work out, but I am surprised at the lack of simple consideration! Linda We are in the midst of planning a tea party for the ladies of our church, and the RSVP’s are driving us crazy! We, too, have encountered two ladies who informed us that they may be bringing a guest, (not asked, mind you, told us) and many more have said, “I’ll try to make it, but I may not be there because…”. That one really gets under my skin, because these ladies think that they have responded to the RSVP, but they haven’t told us a thing. I would nver dream of doing such a thing to a hostess! If I had the slightest doubt that I could make the party, I would decline the invitation. Part of the problem, I guess is that they expect the church to accomodate them, and usually this is not a problem, but for a tea party a good idea of how many are attending is essential. Oh, well, it will all work out, but I am surprised at the lack of simple consideration!
Linda

]]> By: Maxine http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-3000 Maxine Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:34:50 +0000 http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-3000 People who don't r.s.v.p are one of my pet peeeves. Such a mystery! And hostess gifts seem to be a thing of the past. I always take one, and am usually the only one that does so. A vintage tea society that I belong to usually puts "regrets only" on their invitations, so you only need to respond if you can not attend. However, it's a monthly tea, so we already have it on our calendars. Let's start a new trend. Let's RSVP, take hostess gifts and send thank you cards. Maybe it will catch on. Maxine People who don’t r.s.v.p are one of my pet peeeves. Such a mystery! And hostess gifts seem to be a thing of the past. I always take one, and am usually the only one that does so.
A vintage tea society that I belong to usually puts “regrets only” on their invitations, so you only need to respond if you can not attend. However, it’s a monthly tea, so we already have it on our calendars.
Let’s start a new trend. Let’s RSVP, take hostess gifts and send thank you cards. Maybe it will catch on.
Maxine

]]> By: Nicole http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-2968 Nicole Tue, 14 Oct 2008 22:07:29 +0000 http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-2968 I have run into this more times then I'd care to admit. You know the whole if I had a nickel... The surest way I've found to know who is coming without having to follow up is to forget an important detail on purpose. I never forget the date, but usually the venue or the time will do. People will call to find out and let me know then. It's sad that I have to go to that extreme, but it usually works. I do have some that just call someone else, but it's something. I have run into this more times then I’d care to admit. You know the whole if I had a nickel…

The surest way I’ve found to know who is coming without having to follow up is to forget an important detail on purpose. I never forget the date, but usually the venue or the time will do. People will call to find out and let me know then. It’s sad that I have to go to that extreme, but it usually works. I do have some that just call someone else, but it’s something.

]]> By: Shery http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-1082 Shery Mon, 15 Oct 2007 23:58:29 +0000 http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-1082 What do you think of sending an invitation to someone to rsvp, and then they ask if they can bring a friend, or their mother? It has put me an awkward position to decline their request. I plan carefully for activities, games, prizes, drinks, etc. and I make each guest their first drink, if everyone brought a friend, it would seem it would be all work and no play at your own party! Plus, I only have so much room. I am afraid if I say yes to one, the next time, others would bring their own guest. Am I being too stuffy about all this? I just don't think it is proper to ask that of a hostess? Am I right? What do you think of sending an invitation to someone to rsvp, and then they ask if they can bring a friend, or their mother? It has put me an awkward position to decline their request. I plan carefully for activities, games, prizes, drinks, etc. and I make each guest their first drink, if everyone brought a friend, it would seem it would be all work and no play at your own party! Plus, I only have so much room. I am afraid if I say yes to one, the next time, others would bring their own guest. Am I being too stuffy about all this? I just don’t think it is proper to ask that of a hostess? Am I right?

]]> By: Colleen http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-1078 Colleen Mon, 15 Oct 2007 05:39:49 +0000 http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-1078 I made my own personal invitations to a nice Halloween Party, that I am giving for close friends. Just two RSVPs back. One is not coming, due to plans made ahead, and one is coming. I am still planning on my party, but I am afraid that I will be disappointed on the turnout. I think that people are just too invovled into their own lives, that they forget to let you know. Or they will decide at the last minute if they want to come or not. Yes, it is wrong that no one hardly has the courteous to tell you anymore. It does hurt your feelings also. I made my own personal invitations to a nice Halloween Party, that I am giving for close friends. Just two RSVPs back. One is not coming, due to plans made ahead, and one is coming. I am still planning on my party, but I am afraid that I will be disappointed on the turnout. I think that people are just too invovled into their own lives, that they forget to let you know. Or they will decide at the last minute if they want to come or not. Yes, it is wrong that no one hardly has the courteous to tell you anymore. It does hurt your feelings also.

]]> By: Shannon http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-1077 Shannon Sun, 14 Oct 2007 23:32:16 +0000 http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-1077 My daughter is turning 5 in two weeks. Up until this birthday we've always had family only parties. This time, I decided to have a destination party for her and friends from her preschool. The destination is expensive, and she's allowed to have 19 guest for the inclusive cost, each extra kid is $10. Well she has about 42 kids in her class and I couldn't invite all of them. So I invited 28 kids (thinking that's a good chance I'd end up with less than 19) and sent out invites 6 weeks in advance. I chose to put Regrets Only, thinking that would be easier, but now we are 2 weeks from the date and i've had 5 people call and say that they ARE coming. And no one has called or emailed that they are not. So I'm now thinking, do I invite more of the kids, the 14 that I didn't invite? Because I really have no idea at this point who is coming and who is not coming and I do not have any phone numbers to call and ask. I've considered sending "reminders". Would that be considered rude? Since i did say regrets only and now i'm asking them to let me know if it's a yes or no? Not sure what to do. My daughter is turning 5 in two weeks. Up until this birthday we’ve always had family only parties. This time, I decided to have a destination party for her and friends from her preschool. The destination is expensive, and she’s allowed to have 19 guest for the inclusive cost, each extra kid is $10. Well she has about 42 kids in her class and I couldn’t invite all of them. So I invited 28 kids (thinking that’s a good chance I’d end up with less than 19) and sent out invites 6 weeks in advance. I chose to put Regrets Only, thinking that would be easier, but now we are 2 weeks from the date and i’ve had 5 people call and say that they ARE coming. And no one has called or emailed that they are not. So I’m now thinking, do I invite more of the kids, the 14 that I didn’t invite? Because I really have no idea at this point who is coming and who is not coming and I do not have any phone numbers to call and ask. I’ve considered sending “reminders”. Would that be considered rude? Since i did say regrets only and now i’m asking them to let me know if it’s a yes or no? Not sure what to do.

]]> By: Jamie http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-1024 Jamie Thu, 04 Oct 2007 15:26:08 +0000 http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-1024 I thought I'd post this in case Lara checked back to see if anyone answered her question. My way of responding to invitations I don't want to attend is always to offer no excuse. I simply say I won't be able to make it, and wish them a good time at thier party. If they press for a reason, I tell them that I have something else planned - which is completely true, since I plan *not* to attend the party. If you have trouble doing this over the phone, either call when you know they're not home and leave a message, or write a note (you know, on all those pretty note cards we get as gifts and rarely use)! No one can argue with you in the mail (not without considerable trouble on thier part), and your obligation to RSVP has been fulfulled. :-) I thought I’d post this in case Lara checked back to see if anyone answered her question.

My way of responding to invitations I don’t want to attend is always to offer no excuse. I simply say I won’t be able to make it, and wish them a good time at thier party. If they press for a reason, I tell them that I have something else planned - which is completely true, since I plan *not* to attend the party. If you have trouble doing this over the phone, either call when you know they’re not home and leave a message, or write a note (you know, on all those pretty note cards we get as gifts and rarely use)! No one can argue with you in the mail (not without considerable trouble on thier part), and your obligation to RSVP has been fulfulled. :-)

]]> By: Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-1022 Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife Thu, 04 Oct 2007 05:29:12 +0000 http://www.teapartygirl.com/why-dont-people-rsvp-and-bring-hostess-gifts#comment-1022 I always RSVP. To solve the problem with my own parties, I put the following on the invitation: "RSVP, regrets only" OR... "RSVP, yes or no" I'm not sure if it is proper etiquette to do this or not, but it has always worked well for me. I figure that it's ok to put this (even if it might be improper etiquette) because it can't be any worse than not RSVPing to a party, and that's what usually happens if I just write "RSVP" on the invitation! Hope this helps! Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife http://xboxwife.blogspot.com/ I always RSVP. To solve the problem with my own parties, I put the following on the invitation:

“RSVP, regrets only”

OR…

“RSVP, yes or no”

I’m not sure if it is proper etiquette to do this or not, but it has always worked well for me. I figure that it’s ok to put this (even if it might be improper etiquette) because it can’t be any worse than not RSVPing to a party, and that’s what usually happens if I just write “RSVP” on the invitation!

Hope this helps!
Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife
http://xboxwife.blogspot.com/

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